She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
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