so let's talk penis.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
