bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize