Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
