Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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