you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
