Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
