seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
Randomize
