look no pants
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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