Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Two words: blizzard sex
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
