Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Randomize
