you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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