And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
Randomize
