a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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