I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
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