even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Randomize
