I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
