Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize
