He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize
