I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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