I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
