I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
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