Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
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