Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
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