she woke up with a sticky ear
He felt like a one man threesome
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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