apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Randomize
