I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
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