you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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