ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Randomize