I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
I forgot how hot balto sounded
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
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