i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
