There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Randomize
