Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
That accounts for only three of the penises
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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