You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
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