Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Randomize
