dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
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As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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