Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Randomize
