i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
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