I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Randomize
