He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Randomize