It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Randomize
