when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
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