take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Randomize