So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
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just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
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