hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
they call him Oral-B. enough said
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
