i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
