hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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