we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
