lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Randomize
