I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize
