omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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