Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
Only a mothe r could love this liver
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
Ketchup is God's man juice
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
