Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
