I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Randomize
