I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Randomize
