3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Randomize
