I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Randomize
