Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
You smell like a Billy Joel song
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
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