but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize