belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Randomize
