Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
