A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
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