he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
