Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Randomize
