yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize
