If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
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