we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
