Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Randomize
