11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
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